The kids didn't want to sleep tonight. I tried to put Brooke down, as usual at 7:30 - but she wasn't having it. We went through the entire routine and she wouldn't go to sleep. I knew I was in for it if I steered from routine, but I did it anyways. I let her stay up awhile longer and play with Reilly. At 8:30 I put them both in bed and read books...again. At the end of books, they both lost their mind - i mean, they were exhausted at this point. Reilly started crying for "Daaaaaaaadddddddddy," who was off playing racquetball. Brooke started climbing out of her bed, screaming and limbs flailing.
At long last, they calmed down. Brooke laid to one side of me, and Reilly to the other. I watched Brooke as her arms and legs twitched - the sign that she is asleep, but just barely. Sucking on her binky, with her blanky covering her face - as she falls asleep every time. I felt Reilly snuggling up to my back, her arms around me, one arm around my side, the other one over my heart. Reilly was still awake, but calm -- and all was quiet.
As a mother, you always wonder what your kids will remember from their childhood - what the fond memories will be - after you are gone. (I hope to be around for another 70 years, but still, I wonder!) I found myself laying there, wishing they would remember that tender moment. The moment that I sat and watched them breathe, and felt their tiny little hands, and watched the curls of Brooke's hair bounce with her deep breathes, and felt Reilly's little fingers play a drum beat on my heart.
I don't care if they remember the trips to Disney, or the days at the beach, or the presents that we buy them. I hope they remember how much we love them, and all the tender moments we have, and will share.
I love my girls!