Happy 8th Birthday, Brady!

It has been 2,902 days since we lost Brady.  8 years.  In those 2,902 days - not one has past without me having a thought of the baby boy that I never had a chance to raise. Not one.

It is the evening of Father's Day and I am reflecting on the fact that 8 years ago I was about 30 hours into labor.  I knew going into labor that we had lost Brady (see the entire story here) so after 30 hours I was just ready for it to be over.  I was in pain - both emotionally and physically - and I wanted the nightmare to end.  It was the Friday before Father's Day that year.

Tonight, after a wonderful Father's Day, I am thankful. I am thankful for the amazing and blessed life that Mike and I have today and for our two beautiful girls.  I'm thankful that after a close call, I lived through the delivery and I'm here to enjoy our life. I am also thankful for all that Brady has given me.  But I am also sad.  I'm sad that Brady is not part of our family and that we didn't get a chance to raise him.

8 years is a long time.  Memories begin to fade.  The smell of his memory box has morphed - it no longer smells like his sweet little body, but instead smells just like the rest of our house.  Time....it has a way.  A way of healing, a way of changing, a....way.

I've said everything I have needed to say over the years.  But somehow it helps to write it down and really reflect.  While I think about him every day, on his birthday I truly sit and take the time to think it through, think about him and listen to my heart.

I've just pulled out his memory box and stared at the two polaroid pictures I have of all 7 pounds, 6 ounces of him.  If I didn't know better, I'd think he was simply sleeping. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was looking at Brooke's baby picture - they look exactly the same.

I could ramble on and on about the thoughts in my head and how much this little boy changed my life forever.  But instead I'll just say...Happy Birthday, son! In my heart, you are alive and I forever love you.  Happy 8th Birthday, Brady.

More about Brady

A letter to my son

I can't believe Reilly is about to turn 6!! We are getting ready to head out of town, and school just ended - so we had her party before all that started. It was a great water party!

Swim Lessons

As usual, I'm catching up on blog posts. Here are a couple cute pictures from last month of the girls at swim lessons!

Brooke's Swim Lessons

Brooke did a fantastic job this Spring with her swim lessons. She started out on day one and she wasn't interested at all - cried the entire time. Each lesson got better.

At the end of 4 weeks, she was able to get herself safely to the side of the pool. Take a look!

Brooke Loves Soccer

Brooke is just loving her new soccer team! She gets out there and really runs and kicks the ball. We do have to work on the "no hands on the ball" rule, she likes to reposition it for the perfect kick. But she gets very excited every time the ball goes into the goal.

She also loves that daddy is the coach!

Here is a little video of her setting the ball up for the goal.

Spring Break, Beach Style

During spring break, we took the kids to the beach for a couple days. We had a great time playing at the beach and in the pool. The beach was just perfect. It was on the gulf, so the water was calm, and the beach was very small so the kids couldn't go far - it was perfect.

Besides the beach, Reilly's favorite activity was the Claw Game in the game room - she seemed to win an animal with each token. I'm pretty sure I've never won anything, I'm not sure how she did it!

Reilly gave Brooke one of the animals, an orange monkey, and Brooke enjoyed taking it all around the resort.

Reilly's Smile Mile

Reilly ran her second road race today! Her first was about three years ago, and was just a quick "dash." This one was a MILE! And she did fantastic. Here she is at the start with her friends from school - All ready to go!

Daddy and Brooke wait for Reilly about .25 miles in.

Annnnnd they are off!

Here she is at .25 miles!

Daddy jumped in at .75 miles to help cheer her along - she was doing great!!

The girls finished in about 14 minutes - they did FANTASTIC!!